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Lets do that again. 2021, hold for applause.
2021! Wow! I never thought Id see 2021. I thought perhaps the Mayan calendar would prove correct. And the end of the world would have been the greatest excuse to get me out of this terrifying task of delivering the commencement speech. But wait! According to the Mayan calendar here, when does the world end? December December 2021. Damn!
Okay. Maybe I shouldnt talk to the graduates eager to start their new lives about the end of the world. Okay. Really? Really?
Of all the novelists, teachers, playwrights, poets, groundbreaking visual artists and pioneers of science, you got the TV actor. No, no, and I actually heard you petitioned for me. Oh, you fools!
You know what, for those of you who didnt petition for me, I would love to later on talk about the problems in the Middle East and the downfall of the world economy. And for those of you who did petition for me, I dont have any signed DVDs of the Game of Thrones. But I am happy to talk about the parallel lineages of the Targaryens and Lannisters later at the bar.
You see, it took all of my strength, and, of course, a little extra push from my wife Erica for me to agree to do this. Because I dont do this. In my profession, I am told by people who know what theyre doing, where to stand, how to look, and most importantly, what to say. But youve got me only me my words unedited and as you will see quite embarrassing.