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When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client。 I was a Ph。D。 student in clinical psychology at Berkeley。 She was a 26―year―old woman named Alex。 Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems。 Now when I heard this, I was so relieved。 My classmate got an arsonist for her first client。 (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys。 This I thought I could handle。
But I didn't handle it。 With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road。 "Thirty's the new 20," Alex would say, and as far as I could tell, she was right。 Work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later。 Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time。
But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life。 I pushed back。
I said, "Sure, she's dating down, she's sleeping with a knucklehead, but it's not like she's going to marry the guy。"
And then my supervisor said, "Not yet, but she might marry the next one。 Besides, the best time to work on Alex's marriage is before she has one。"
That's what psychologists call an "Aha!" moment。 That was the moment I realized, 30 is not the new 20。 Yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didn't make Alex's 20s a developmental downtime。 That made Alex's 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it。 That was when I realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for Alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere。
There are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right now。 We're talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first。
Raise your hand if you're in your 20s。 I really want to see some twentysomethings here。 Oh, yay! Y'all's awesome。 If you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, you're losing sleep over twentysomethings, I want to see ― Okay。 Awesome, twentysomethings really matter。
So I specialize in twentysomethings because I believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertility specialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world。
This is not my opinion。 These are the facts。 We know that 80 percent of life's most defining moments take place by age 35。 That means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and "Aha!" moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid―30s。 People who are over 40, don't panic。 This crowd is going to be fine, I think。 We know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you're going to earn。 We know that more than half of Americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30。 We know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood, which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it。 We know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35。 So your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options。
So when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain。 It's a time when your ordinary, day―to―day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become。 But what we hear less about is that there's such a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development。
But this isn't what twentysomethings are hearing。 Newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood。 Researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence。 Journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like "twixters" and "kidults。" It's true。 As a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of adulthood。
Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time。 Isn't that true? So what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, "You have 10 extra years to start your life"? Nothing happens。 You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens。
And then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: "I know my boyfriend's no good for me, but this relationship doesn't count。 I'm just killing time。" Or they say, "Everybody says as long as I get started on a career by the time I'm 30, I'll be fine。"
But then it starts to sound like this: "My 20s are almost over, and I have nothing to show for myself。 I had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college。"
And then it starts to sound like this: "Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs。 Everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down。 I didn't want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes I think I married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30。"
Where are the twentysomethings here? Do not do that。
Okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake, the stakes are very high。 When a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump―start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time。 Many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s。
The post―millennial midlife crisis isn't buying a red sports car。 It's realizing you can't have that career you now want。 It's realizing you can't have that child you now want, or you can't give your child a sibling。 Too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their 20s, "What was I doing? What was I thinking?"
I want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking。
Here's a story about how that can go。 It's a story about a woman named Emma。 At 25, Emma came to my office because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis。 She said she thought she might like to work in art or entertainment, but she hadn't decided yet, so she'd spent the last few years waiting tables instead。 Because it was cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition。 And as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even harder。 She often cried in our sessions, but then would collect herself by saying, "You can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends。"
Well one day, Emma comes in and she hangs her head in her lap, and she sobbed for most of the hour。 She'd just bought a new address book, and she'd spent the morning filling in her many contacts, but then she'd been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words "In case of emergency, please call 。。。 。" She was nearly hysterical when she looked at me and said, "Who's going to be there for me if I get in a car wreck? Who's going to take care of me if I have cancer?"
Now in that moment, it took everything I had not to say, "I will。" But what Emma needed wasn't some therapist who really, really cared。 Emma needed a better life, and I knew this was her chance。 I had learned too much since I first worked with Alex to just sit there while Emma's defining decade went parading by。
So over the next weeks and months, I told Emma three things that every twentysomething, male or female, deserves to hear。
First, I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital。 By get identity capital, I mean do something that adds value to who you are。 Do something that's an investment in who you might want to be next。 I didn't know the future of Emma's career, and no one knows the future of work, but I do know this: Identity capital begets identity capital。 So now is the time for that cross―country job, that internship, that startup you want to try。 I'm not discounting twentysomething exploration here, but I am discounting exploration that's not supposed to count, which, by the way, is not exploration。 That's procrastination。 I told Emma to explore work and make it count。
Second, I told Emma that the urban tribe is overrated。 Best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twentysomethings who huddle together with like―minded peers limit who they know, what they know, how they think, how they speak, and where they work。 That new piece of capital, that new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle。 New things come from what are called our weak ties, our friends of friends of friends。 So yes, half of twentysomethings are un― or under―employed。 But half aren't, and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group。 Half of new jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbor's boss is how you get that un―posted job。 It's not cheating。 It's the science of how information spreads。
Last but not least, Emma believed that you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends。 Now this was true for her growing up, but as a twentysomething, soon Emma would pick her family when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own。 I told Emma the time to start picking your family is now。 Now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20, or even 25, and I agree with you。 But grabbing whoever you're living with or sleeping with when everyone on Facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress。 The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work。 Picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you。
So what happened to Emma? Well, we went through that address book, and she found an old roommate's cousin who worked at an art museum in another state。 That weak tie helped her get a job there。 That job offer gave her the reason to leave that live―in boyfriend。 Now, five years later, she's a special events planner for museums。 She's married to a man she mindfully chose。 She loves her new career, she loves her new family, and she sent me a card that said, "Now the emergency contact blanks don't seem big enough。"
Now Emma's story made that sound easy, but that's what I love about working with twentysomethings。 They are so easy to help。 Twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving LAX, bound for somewhere west。 Right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji。 Likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29, one good conversation, one good break, one good TED Talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come。
So here's an idea worth spreading to every twentysomething you know。 It's as simple as what I learned to say to Alex。 It's what I now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like Emma every single day: Thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family。 Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do。 You're deciding your life right now。 Thank you。
hello everybody, today ,my presentation is about film review.the graduate is an attractive and affecting film.it has a very important place in the america film history,because it reflected the people’s life at that time,1960s.it also a ground-breaking film,had taken a new film type in american film market.mike nichols,is the the director.he is a famous and fruitful director in america,has many movie works ,helped him receive a lot of honors and awards,including the graduate ,which helped him get the oscar awards,the best director.the main stars including dustin hoffman,anne bancroft,katharine ross and others.dustin hoffman plays a graduate ,named benjamin,who is worried about his future,his eyes are confused.anne bancroft,plays mrs.robinson ,a middle-aged woman,although has a rich husband,she dose’t like her husband.katharine ross plays elaine,she is mrs.robinson daughter.ben is a graduate,his father held a party for him and give a beautiful red car as graduate gift.but he had no interested it.at the party,mrs.robinson seduced him.at first,he refused.however ,after several days,he had sex with her in a local hotel.all is going well until mrs.robinson insisted that ben must leave from her daughter elaine.but he didnt follow what she said and finally fell in love with elaine.others found the truth and elaine decide to leave ben.this time,he was not confused again,finally,he and elaine ran away from elaine’s wedding.i like the film ,because nobody is perfect, and people do improper things at the improper time.the point is whether you are willing to amend it or not.ben should be a good example.when his affair with mrs.robinson,found by others, he was brave enough to face it, courageous enough to purse his true love.from the movie ,we can see ben’s transformation from a confused graduate to a mature man;from the fall to the persistence for true love;well, this is our graduate, it’s a part of life, it’s the process of growth.the theme music is very popular.let’s enjoin it.thank you!篇二:《电影业对人类文明的影响》英语演讲稿
(《电影业对人类文明的影响》英语演讲期末演讲稿附大纲及小卡片)the contribution of films to human civilization good morning, ladies and gentlemen!can you imagine a day that you wake up and find all the movie theaters disappeared , and even you cannot search out any information about film on the internet? what would you do then? don’t be afraid.this is a hypothesis.in modern society , actually, the film industry doesn’t disappear, but it also makes a huge contribution to human civilization mainly in politics, economy and culture.second, let’s discuss the aspect of economy.setting up in downtown, every cinema can promote the local economy to a large extent.what’s more, the beautiful sights in the film can leave a profound impression to the audience.therefore, they may travel to the relevant interesting places.ok, to sum up, as i mentioned earlier.the film industry can effect people’s manner, cognition and value.it has already made a huge contribution to human civilization in three aspects of politics, economy and culture.in the development of human civilization , the film industry will learn widely from other’s strong points and show extraordinary talents in the future.thank you, thank you so much.speaking outline ⅰ.introduction the film industry has made a huge contribution to human civilization.can you imagine a day that you wake up and find all the movie theaters disappeared,(停顿)and even you cannot search out any information about film on the internet? what would you do then?(停顿,扫视全场)don’t be afraid.(停顿)this is a hypothesis.(过渡)in modern society , actually, the film industry doesn’t disappear, but it also makes a huge contribution to human civilization mainly in politics, economy and culture.ⅱ.main points a.let’s look at the side of politics.b.let’s discuss the aspect of economy.setting up in downtown, every cinema can promote the local economy to a large extent.(眼神交流)what’s more, the beautiful sights in the film can leave a profound impression to the audience.therefore, they may travel to the relevant interesting places.c.i’d like to talk about the field of culture.ⅲ.conclusion(眼神交流)ok, to sum up, as i mentioned earlier.the film industry can effect people’s manner, cognition and value.it has already made a huge contribution to human civilization in three aspects of politics, economy and culture.(眼神交流)in the development of human civilization , the film industry will learn widely from other’s strong points and show extraordinary talents in the future.main points topic: the contribution of films to human civilization.general purpose: to inform specific purpose: to inform my audience about the contribution of films in aspects of the politics, economy and culture.main points: introduce the contributions from three aspects.篇三:英语演讲稿 start with yourself 改变
列夫·托尔斯泰曾说过:每个人都想改变这个世界,但是没有人想到改变自己。他说的很有道理,我们每个人都心怀伟大时志向,时刻准备去干一番能造福全人类的大事业。比如,我们痛恨环境污染,所以我们下定决心去开发新的更高效更干净的能源来保护我们的环境,但是同时我们却随手乱扔垃圾;我们抱怨大城市的交通堵塞,计划造更多的高速路来解决交通问题,但是我们从来没有想过,如果我们能遵守交通规则话,那么这一问题是不是可以得到很大得缓解呢?我们担心电视电影里面得暴力会对我们得孩子产生不良的影响,于是我们敦促政府通过立法来保护未成年人,但是我们这些大人又做得怎么样呢?我们为我们的下一代做好了表率吗?我们说粗话,甚至在孩子面前抽烟。不客气地说,我们对孩子的不良影响更多!在我看来,在我们打算改变这个世界之前,我们最好先改变一下自己。作为一个普通人,我们其实没有改变这个世界的能力,但是我可以改变我们随地扔垃圾,随地吐痰的坏习惯,我们应该学会去保护环境,我们应该为我们的孩子起好的表率作用。
如果我们每个人都能从小事起,那么千千万万个人力量汇聚在一起,那力量是强大的,足以改变这个世界。
朋友,当您在做某一件事情的时候,请您想一想,您的行为会对您周围的人产生怎样的影响,因为,您的行为不单单影响到您自己,还有您周围的人,更重要的是我们的孩子…甚至我们的世界。
how to lose weight
it seems that many people today are overweight. no one wants to carry around extra pounds, lout few people know how to slum down effectively. they look for miracle pills and magic cures. in the end, they fail and the pounds come back. but the most effective way of losing weight is actually very si-mp-le. it is a combination of a good diet and proper exercise. what makes it work is determination. it requires discipline and commitment to succeed. here is an example that proves the truth of these words.
my aunt had been trying to lose weight for years. she went on one diet after another, but none of them worked. she lost a lot of weight quickly only to have it come back. finally, she followed her doctors advice and began to eat a si-mp-le, well-balanced diet. she ate lots of fruits and vegetables and avoided high-fat foods. in addition, she joined an exercise class. she worked out three times a week. at first, my aunt wasnt happy because the weight came off so slowly. but her classmates encouraged her to stick to it and eventually she reached her goal. best of all, she was able to stay at her ideal weight. that was because she had developed healthy new habits.
如何减肥
现在似乎有许多人的体重都过重.没有人会希望身上有多余的重量,但是很少人知道如何才能有效地瘦下来.他们会去寻找特效药,以及神奇的治疗法.最后不仅失败,而且反弹了.但是事实上, 英语演讲稿范文 最有效的'减肥方法非常简单.主要就是结合均衡的饮食,以及适当的运动.成功的关键就是要有决心.成功需要自制和投入.以下这个例子,可以证明这个方法是正确的.
我阿姨试图减肥已经好多年了.她一次又一次地节食,但是没有一次成功.她的体重会快速地下降,但没多久就又反弹了.最后,她听从医生的建议,开始吃简单、均衡的饮食.她吃大量的蔬果,并避免高脂肪的食物.除此之外,她还去参加运动课程.她一星期运动三次.起初,我阿姨并不是很开心,因为体重下降得很慢.但是她的同学们鼓励她坚持下去,最后她终于达到目标.最棒的是,她能够维持她的理想体重.因为她已经养成健康的新生活习惯.
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